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UBER Day 8 OMG


Played Kesha's Rainbow album during first few trips, then switched to Cannibal/Animal, then others as noted.

Nice guy from Florida on business. Mostly we talked about relationships.

Andrew: thinks his truck weighs 10,000 pounds. He plows snow in the winter. His cousin left some 17" snow tires with his grandparents; they might fit my car and he thinks she no longer needs them. Might work out a deal.

Florida family: guy did almost all the talking (except for his child who said a bit). He does tree service. His front bumper is an actual tree. We mostly talked about nature and reptiles.

Metal head conspiracy theorist: I played Sleepytime Gorilla Museum for him. He believes Barack Obama is a gay muslim and Michelle is a transvestite. "I'm not racist or nothin." Thinks our forest fires are due to a Korean directed energy weapon. Thinks millions of people have been killed in FEMA concentration camps managed by WalMart (not just missing due to hurricane; missing due to extermination).

Greyhound lady was indifferent about music and in general. I played Thrill Kill Kult's Hit & Run Holiday. She talked about a woman with an afro of a beard who apparently was lying half in the street, naked from the waist down, with her top half covered by a blanket. Thought she should go further down the road to make some money at making her junk available for whoever. Some guy who was causing trouble the night before is now on the news "Missing."

Loud Guy "Rachel:" [name of person who ordered Uber is Rachel, he said "Yeah that's my name." (sarcastically) so I called him Rachel for the entire trip, which was entirely too long.]  Took him just up the street to Conoco (he put in the wrong address). He could have walked there in 7 minutes easy. "YOU GOT ANY RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE?" "Not on me." "LEMME LINK YOUR BLUETOOTH." "I need it for navigation." "TURN IT UP!!! WHAT KINDA MUSIC DO YOU LIKE?" [I played Sleepytime Gorilla Museum for him as well.] FUCKING. ANNOYING. Yelling the whole time, continually trying to play his music on my stereo, he was only in my car for like 5 minutes total but it was WAY too long. Self taught musician blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah BLAH, everything LOUD.

Tanell (or something like that) and Friend: Upset with someone for cock blocking. Also upset about not getting pussy, in general. Incel and frustrated, but thought they were expressing it in a manner that showed dominance and being "cool."

Nigel talked about weed and his friends who abandoned him to go to Waffle House. Nice guy.

Katherine was sloshed. Wanted me to drive around the back of this strip mall / grocery store. The area was under construction and there were significant obstructions, heavy equipment, swaths of asphalt torn up, tall orange barriers indicating I definitely should not be back there... "Where are you?" "I CAN SEE YOUR HEADLIGHTS!" "OK but where are YOU in relation to ME? Are you behind me?" "I CAN SEE YOU! COME TO ME!" "I can't, there's construction. Also I don't know where you are." "JUST COME AROUND TO THE FRONT." [Which is where I started in the first place...] She apologized when she got in the car, I said "We're good - it's all good." She ate some corn based crunchy snack the whole ride. Tipped me $5 cash after apologizing again.

Zachary LOVES the band Garbage which I had been playing for a while. Demanded I turn it up.  "No, MORE. MORE!!!"  I indulged him. He was also hammered.  Towards the end of the ride he was yelling BUTCH VIG and I asked him "WHAT?" and started turning it down. "BUTCH VIG!!!" "I'm not sure what you're saying?" "BUTCH VIG!!!" "Is that the name of a person?" "BUTCH VIG!!!" "Is he the producer of the album?" "YEAH AND HE DID NIRVANA TOO!! YOU'RE RAD!!!"

Anthony was going on about his friend (and sometimes fuckbuddy) Christine who was really drunk. He asked me if I had ever been to the bar Saints, and I mentioned having just picked up three people from there. Then he started talking about Waffle House, and his friend Nigel. I couldn't stop laughing as I realized he was obviously talking about the same Nigel I had just dropped off. Apparently Christine has had a few DUIs already but was again driving drunk, and there was some incident involving driving very fast on the highway, then slamming on the brakes, then Anthony threw the keys into the grass and/or ditch. I heard this story multiple times as he kept repeating it to me and also to people on the phone. Nigel is clearly the best part of their group.

Todd wanted scratch off tickets and had a few things to say about the QuikTrip employee. A bartender, he was also pretty sloshed. He tipped me $5 cash.

Made it from KCI airport to Westport Marriott to retrieve laptop back to KCI in 49min 35sec. His wife loves Kesha 💖

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