Victor, a bank loan guy who owns a medical marijuana establishment, asked me to use his first name.
Kinda insisted. Oh Kay buddy…
Before we begin with Victor, he was talking with his business partner so the young woman with his business partner asked me “How’s your night going?” Me: “FUCKING MAGIC. ABSOLUTELY MAGICAL.”
Her: “AWESOME!!! I’M A UNICORN!!!”
Me: “MEE TOO!!!” [showed her all of Three’s crystals and she’s all OMG but I had to put them back because I had to feel the bump on her forehead {literal unicorn} so I had her feel the bump on the base of my skull]
[the larger crystal I recently bought was passed around a lot tonight: her, Ian, Hannah, probably some other people, but Catfish Not Crystals was like “No thanks…” {more on her later}]
Victor told stories of court conquests over DUI issues.
A friend of his raced home and then fist fought the cops, and was beaten so badly apparently sobriety couldn’t be determined.
Victor got off on some technicality because he only crossed the line twice.
In their court appointed “whatever recovery program thing” they discussed the cop fight in front of a cop, and a crackhead who explained an important sales strategy: “If you’re not first, you’re last.”
He showed me this gangsta ass condo he rented on Colombia with some friends and it was epic AF.
If he wants to be, he can be my first advertiser/sponsor because yeah, marijuana is medicine.